Hey. It's me, 
Cooper Bowman.
I'm just going to cut to the chase: my name rhymes with poop. And if you're like, ugh, potty jokes... fear not! Because it runs way deeper than rhyming.
You see... I was born on national poop day, which is the day after the super bowl every year (hehe). Unfortunately, I didn't find this out until the ripe old age of 21. But now? Now I have every right to base my entire personality around it. 
So I guess what I'm saying is, my personality is poop. Not actually poop, like I don't have a poop personality. I really don't talk about poop this much. This might be a really bad bio. Crap.  👀
My email is:  cooperbowman17@gmail.com (I'm pretty speedy)
My phone number is:  434.906.1253 (To be totally honest, I probs won't answer)
My resume is:  Right hereOr here. Or click resume. 
My time on the New York Times Mini Crossword puzzle today was 45s. Send me your time. It's fun. 

I'm the one in the trash can.